In 2014 I Hope To...Lower the Bar
It seems a strange thing to begin this year by telling
myself to lower the bar. After all those years of being told to raise the bar,
to have better and bigger and higher goals, to expand my expectations… well
this year I’m doing just the opposite. Mostly because I have a 7 week old, and
anyone whose ever had a 7 week old knows that very little actually gets done in
a day. But also because, after all those years of raising the bar, striving for
better and bigger and higher goals (and then usually failing) and creating expectations
which were unrealistic and entirely too demanding, I am tired. Truthfully, in
all that, I've just played the comparison game and it’s been bad for me.
…her house looks amazing in her fb pictures…
…they seem to manage their twin toddlers and newborn baby
and go on dates…
…not fair that she always has a new dress AND looks skinny
in it…
…her job seems amazing and rewarding, maybe I should think
about going back to school…
we've all been there, right?!
So this year, I am lowering the bar. My goals are shaped
around what’s best for me and my family… not what I see everyone else doing and
saying. And what’s best for us might be a bit of a slower pace, less perfection,
and hopefully a whole lot more grace.
So here goes, 3 broad categories of goals:
1. Mommahood:
More than anything else in life, I've always wanted most to be a mom. In God’s
goodness, this year I am a mom. Already I feel the difficulty in making
decisions for my son, decisions that have a thousand differing opinions…and if
you don’t make the right decision,
though no one will actually say it out loud, you are made to feel less of a
mother. Guess what fellow moms, I’m declaring there is no one right decision, and my husband and I are
going to make the decision that we think is best for our son and family. In a little defensiveness, yes I got an
epidural. It was glorious! Yes my child sleeps in his crib in his own room,
away from his momma. He is sleeping almost 7 hour stretches at night and hasn't stopped breathing, thank you very much. And no, giving him a paci and a bottle
in the first month did not create nipple confusion, he nurses like a champ. If you've made different choices than me, I hope you know I support you 110%, I
hope you’ll do the same for me J So my goal this year is to spend as much guilt free
time loving, snuggling, holding, playing and caring for my son- whether or not
we have clean underwear and dinner on the table. AND to make it an effort to
support my momma friends who make different decisions than me, without
judgment.
2.Family
Living:
Most of our evenings look something like this; Mike comes home (or
steps out of his home office) sometime around 5:30, I am getting dinner started
and we chat for awhile, maybe over a shared beer or glass of red wine. We eat
around 6:30 or 7 and clean up. Ok, Mike cleans up J At this point I
usually beg to sit on the couch in hopes of watching the next 3 episodes of
Downton or 6 of Parks and Rec. My husband, being the King of not wasting time
usually wants to read or exercise or do something requiring brain cells. We
also hope to spend time reading God’s
word together or some other book that would facilitate in growing our faith. So
this year, one of our goals as a couple is do to so, to follow through. Because
it is good for us, for our marriage, and because we want glorify God. We’ve
just started a commentary on 1 Samuel by Dale Ralph Davis. I highly recommend it. The author is
intelligent, sarcastic and pastoral all at the same time. Once the weather
warms up, we also hope to be more involved in our community. Whether that’s
joining a softball league or becoming “regulars” at the park, we feel a deep
desire to know those living around us and to hopefully form friendships out of
it.
3.Personal
Goals:
This is the hardest category… to not set myself up for failure, to lower
the bar while still striving to improve myself. Thankfully, God does not leave
us where we are, and so I have help in this department. Without going into
detail, some off the cuff goals would include loving my husband well,
maintaining patients with my husband and son no matter how exhausted I feel,
taking time each day to read and pray, stick to our grocery meal plan/budget,
continue to improve and be a good steward of maintaining our home (in relation
to cooking, cleaning, inviting guests in, and giving of our time and resources.
I must include that my sweet sweet husband shares is so many of these responsibilities
with me, that he makes it easy for me!) And then of course, there is the ever
looming, year after year goal of health and fitness. Still don’t have this one
figured out, mostly because I am not the most disciplined of people. But this year we
bought a treadmill! I’m optimistic that the convenience of having it
in my own home will improve the likelihood of using it! And last but not least,
to be gentle with myself. Remembering that I shouldn't have a standard of
perfection, but instead work to be content with my imperfect self.
Cheers to 2014 and may God receive all the glory!
With Love,
L
